here’s a scene I’m working on. suggestions and criticism welcome.
Sour coffee. That’s what she noticed. All she noticed now. The stale odor of 6am’s coffee wafting out from between his lips. He was yelling at her. Well, he was angry. His volume wasn’t ear-piercing by any means but his voice was firm. Deep. And the words came quickly. They came quickly and from all over. Sentences ran on. There were no pauses, not grammatical ones at least. The words stopped only briefly, fleetingly, when he ran out of air and had to take a breath. Interrupted only by that natural, uncontrollable bodily function: breathing. He did it as quickly as possible, sucking in air between weighted words, sometimes spitting a little because his thoughts were lining up before his mouth could deliver them. The spit would dribble down his chin, but sometimes it would come out in one swift spurt, like the misty outpouring of a whale’s blow hole. This would project the sour coffee smell onto her face, where it would stay even if she wiped the spit away.
This is what she was thinking about.
That’s all I’ve got so far. I’m still deciding on who the characters are and what this is all about. I had the idea when I imagined someone fiddling with their loose coat button as someone was chastising them. This never made it into the writing. I want to add it in at some point. I’ve got a lot of loose ideas but no direction yet. More installments to come. Also: if anyone is reading this and knows some interesting writer/writing related blogs, do tell.
Also, I want this book:
